The snow came this week, falling gently and creating a soft, white, wonder. I’ve been waking up to its bright white invitations to create beauty, to make a cup of tea, to read, to snuggle in.
I’ve been full of thoughts lately. So. Many. Thoughts. Much of them around writing, painting, mothering, marriage, midlife. I am wrestling with something, though that something is vague and shapeless. Feels like worry, anxiety, fear that has yet to be fully unwrapped, taking its sweet time to reveal its purpose.
I have a sense that I’m shedding what no longer serves and welcoming in a newer version. I wonder what she’s like. What discoveries and adventures she wants to have. What she likes to wear. What she has to say.
I shall wait patiently for her to emerge.
These wintry midlife seasons are mysterious, no? We’re called to trust the process of being with ourselves in the murky places as we wiggle with discomfort, as we wrestle with uncertainty, as we strain to see what is ahead.
And so it is. I remind myself to keep tending. To be loving and kind to myself. To treat myself like I would a sweet toddler. It takes time to become, to emerge, to transform.
Big XO, Kelly Rae
